The Cottonwood Tucson Experience

The Breakfast Club

We all come to Cottonwood Tucson for various reasons, bringing along all shapes and sizes of baggage; with the common denominator being the desire to get well. It is understood that some have a greater desire than others do. At Cottonwood, we are stripped bare and completely exposed in an environment that is safe and nurturing. It is because of the caring and sharing that goes on that amazing bonds are built while on campus. We have taken those bonds beyond the campus.

For the past two years, since our mutual time at Cottonwood Tucson we have stayed in close contact. The "Breakfast Club" began as a group that had early breakfast together on the upper patio. We come from all over the world and are bound by common Cottonwood experience. Each breakfast began with going around the table one by one, giving your three core feelings for the day, and answering a ten-question self-evaluation. We could then move on to having breakfast.

We continue our experience via email, through the marvels of modern technology. We try to check in as often as possible and each email begins with your three core feelings. This is the safest place on earth. You can share any information that you choose and feel comfortable. Knowing that you are going to get responses that come from love and caring. If someone is not contributing for any length of time they are checked up on and reminded that whatever reason they are not communicating does not matter, we want to hear from you. You will never be reprimanded for not writing whatever the reason. This is all done out of love.

The Breakfast Club has become a family. We visit each other, hold reunions, meet each other's "real" families, and are as close as people can be. We owe this to Cottonwood and our own individual experience there. Cottonwood has introduced us, showed us how to open up and let in others with no judgment and develop the ability to share. Being able to share is a key force in each person's recovery.

With all this said, we want to thank Cottonwood Tucson for giving each of us the knowledge and tools that brought the Breakfast Club together.

Ellen S., Cottonwood Tucson Alumni

Press Trivializes the Treatment Process and Devalues the Suffering

I read this morning that Casey Johnson, heiress to the Johnson & Johnson fortune, died alone in her Los Angeles apartment after a well-publicized life of drugs and partying. I feel sad to hear yet another story of a celebrity who succumbs to addiction after cycling in and out of a series of boutique rehabs.

If you follow the news the story is familiar. Train wrecks of pop check into posh $100,000-a-month beachfront rehabs, where they demand - and appear to receive - special indulgence. In my mind this kind of press trivializes the treatment process and devalues the suffering that I see every day as a therapist at Cottonwood Tucson. In the morning paper I read of the rich and famous going to treatment to save face and then go to work and treat less famous patients who struggle to save their lives. Too often, the news media leave general public with the notion that treatment doesn't work.

I know better. As an "in the trenches" clinician, I see overwhelming evidence that treatment does in fact work. While miracles can be hard to quantify, the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Administration's National Outcome Measures show that treatment results in improvement in every life domain, including: abstinence from alcohol and other drugs, decreased symptoms of mental disorders and improved functioning in all major areas. The same study reports that those who have completed treatment also have decreased involvement with the justice system and are better able to find and keep safe and stable housing for their families.

That's what miracles sound like when measured in the dry, public sector language of the National Institute on Drug Abuse. For a more personal take on the value of treatment, please consider the words of a grateful mother who recently sent a thank-you note to one of the family therapists at Cottonwood:

"We are still floating. None of us will ever be the same.
Our son is doing great - happy and clean out in
California. He told me the other day that he had gotten
a sponsor. The sound of his laughter has returned to us.
We have gotten a miracle."

I wish you could have had one too, Casey.

Jeffrey C. Friedman, LISAC
Primary Therapist
Cottonwood Tucson

Falling off my bike at age fifty-seven

Falling Off My Bike at Age Fifty-Seven

It was a great idea. I had a meeting at 7:15 am and it was only three miles each way. I was going to get in a meeting and my exercise in one fell swoop. At the meeting everyone was adequately impressed with my aging attempt at cardio exercise even though I never broke a sweat. The meeting was over in an hour and I was feeling good, so I decided(in my perfectionism)that three miles back home was way too easy. I would make a detour to Alvernon and put in another two miles. Yeah, I was doing it all right; after all...what could go wrong?

Alvernon is a wide, steady moving example of inter-city congestion. I knew it had a bike lane and felt like it was a safe road to travel. I biked from Country Club to Alvernon with no mishaps. It was great. As I started riding on Alvernon, I noticed that that the road had gaps of about three inches wide every so often. I never noticed that before and preferred to have a smoother ride if possible. So I decide to move onto the sidewalk; less bumpy and I've always felt that it is a safer place to ride. As I made my move, I saw the lip of concrete that separates the street from the driveway entrance. Did you know that a one-inch high piece of concrete could literally mangle you? As I expertly (NOT!) guide my bike onto the driveway towards the sidewalk...BAM! I didn't have time to react or scream. My transportation once my friend had suddenly turned on me or should I say slipped on me. One second I was happily riding along, the next second I was on the ground. The bike slid out from under me as easy as butter melting in a hot pan.

I lay there, my 57-year-old overweight form lying halfway in the bike lane and halfway in the driveway, my bike resting partially on my body. All I could do was be still. Okay I tell myself, don't panic, take nice deep breathes. Breathe, breathe. I breathe and I pray. Three minutes seems like eternity when concrete and flesh meet. The morning rush hour traffic is moving by my horizontal body at a predictable speed. One woman bless her soul, shouts out her car window, asking if I want her to call 911. She is halfway down the block before I could stoically say no don't bother. I lie there looking at the sky wondering what all these people must be thinking of me. Do they think I'm dead? Do they think I am drunk? On the other hand, do they just think I'm stupid? They are probably not thinking of me at all.

I take stock of my situation. Nothing seems to be broken, although my ego is bruised. I sit up slowly, unable to make any sudden moves. I start taking inventory of my body...ams, legs, hips, shoulders, everything seems to be in order. Could it be I fell and didn't hurt myself? A few bruises and scrapes but that was all. A woman walks over and asks me if she could call someone for me. That was nice. I told her I was all right and that I have a phone. Whom would I call? Why would I call? I'm not hurt, my bike seems okay. I get back on my bike and finish the ride. I finally arrive home to safety. I am afraid of how this fall will affect me later.

All of a sudden I realize how frail and vulnerable I feel. Of course, I do all the right stuff; ice, ibuprofen, relax, breathe, pray, call work. I could have done without this one adventure. As I lay on the couch nursing my wounds, I wonder if I should give up bike riding. Am I too old? Should they have remedial classes for bike riding specifically for the age-challenged? This accident makes me feel old. I have never felt old before. This is not a good feeling. Thank God feelings are not facts. Well, I have felt worse things, like cement forcefully interacting with my body. I think I am taking myself too seriously. However, I do know this, I will get back on that bike. I will get back on that freaking bike if it kills me! What is the definition of insanity...doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? That's me.

Fifty-seven and holding

Sprituality, Religion, Recovery, Community and Outreach

Working in addictions and recovery I often hear what I believe to be a false dichotomy between the concepts of spirituality and religion. A statement that I have heard repeatedly goes something like this "Religion is for those who fear going to hell. Spirituality is for those who have already been there". I beieve that this statement not only doesn't reflect the universality of pain and suffering but also represents a fundamental misunderstanding of what religion is. Religion is not just a series of rules and restrictions or dogma but is the very means by which spirituality is experienced communnaly. My spiritual life is individual but my religion is a joining in community together with other people to strengthen me in a way I cannot be strengthened on my own or with just my own personal relationship between myself and God or my higher power. This gathering together is the very essence of religion and compltetes, not competes, with my spirituality.

Another positive aspect of religion is that it assists me in moving from beyond my own internal spiritual life to a focus outside just myself. The religious community is able to do far more to make the world a better place than I can do by myself. I was reminded of this again this weekend. About 80 middle schoolers and high schoolers from my church participated in a 30 hour famine to focus their and our awareness of the challenges many people face in just obtaining basic necessities. In addition to learning more about what is going on in the world they participated, cooked and worked with a local organization that feeds not only the homeless but the very poor as well. Through the weekend they also raised money to support other projects. Last year they collected enough money to build a well for a village in Zambia that had never before had clean and safe drinking water. I do not know what they are using the money for this year but it will probably be somthing similar. These youth have also been stirred to want to be more involved in local outreach programs to the poor here in Tucson. Individually these youth would not be able to do much to make a difference but by joining with and participating in their religious community they have a significant impact.

I believe that we should see spirituality and religion as facets that together bring about positive change not only for myself but for the broader community as well.

Thought for the day

"True religion is this, to visit the widows and orphans in their distress"

St. James

The Examined Life and Recovery Socrates on Addiction

Lately I have been interested in ancient philosophy and have been struck by how much the old philosophers have to teach us about recovery. My interest in this came about because of self defense. My older daughter is a graduate student in Philosophy and I love to argue with her about a variety of topics. She is a great person to argue with as all our arguments are friendly and usually result in my learning new things. My big problem though is that she is a lot smarter than me and her knowledge is much greater! I realize how woefully ignorant I am on a lot of subjects so have been reading the ancient Greek philosophers to catch up and to not always be on the losing side of our discussions.

"The unexamined life is not worth living" says Socrates and I have been thinking about what that means. I am coming to see that one of the reasons for self examination is so that we don't continue to engage in actions which are, unwittingly at times, harmful to those we love. We often don't do the good things we want to do but continue to engage in addictive or compulsive behaviors which hurt the ones we most care about. This is one of the joys of working at Cottonwood. On a daily basis I get to work with men and women who are doing the very difficult task of self examination to better their lives. It is a privilege to be a part of someone's journey in self knowledge and self discovery.

Thought for the day

" It is our choices , Harry, that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities".

Albus Dumbledore